Autoreply: Out of the Office

I have two songs in my head. One is that American guy spelling out: "V! A! C! A! T-I-O-N; We’re on vaca-ay-ay-tion." And the other is Madonna’s Holiday. Whatever you call it, we’re doing it. Today we leave for five days in Barcelona, Spain, a city of which I’ve long wanted to visit and where we will meet our good friends Q+A from New York, drink lots of sangria, wilt in the unfamiliar heat, and gorge ourselves on seafood and tapas. I cannot wait.

Seriously, I am really excited. The weather, the friends, and the food hold as much appeal for me as the place right now, but I also feel like it’s been years since we’ve taken a vacation. Don’t get me wrong. I fully acknowledge that 2007 was the Year of the Holiday for us, but long term travelling doesn’t hold the same kind of excitement (kind not amount) as actually claiming some of those very grown-up things called Work Vacation Days (or Holidays here), leaving for a specific and finite period of time, staying in a hotel you’ve reserved in advance... It’s just exciting, that’s all.

In fact, I’m struggling with that strange and annoying Anticipatory Time Vertigo Thing that comes when thinking about the future. You know it. It’s the uneasy feeling of "in two days I’ll be in Barcelona where I've never been and time will keep passing and I'll be back here again and this will be a memory." "Tonight I see Queenie again." "Where will I be this time next year?" "Will I remember this moment?" It comes when I try to think about where I am right now and where I will be at a time in the future when I will not be where I am right now. I wonder what it will feel like and look like and smell like. And it makes my head spin in a way that’s really uncomfortable.

Anticipation. Why is it so strange?

(I also wanted to comment that my water glass is sweating right now. I forgot they did that. Yes, it’s hit the 70’s here in Durham.)