"Hello, let me introduce myself. My name is Joshua Feenstra Wall... no that's F-E-E-N-S-T-R-A. No, not fenestra. No there is not a hyphen. And then Wall, yup, like four walls in a room. Pared in Spanish... (sigh) Would you just like me to write it?"
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The first week of my classes has come and gone, and I've gotten to introduce myself to other students, faculty, and staff members here, and I keep being surprised by the number of people who stumble over my name. Now, this is a rather new development for me because even though Meg and I have been married over four years and I've had Feenstra in my name that whole time, it normally worked as a "second middle" name rather than a last name (or surname as it tends to be called here). During that same time, I signed everything Joshua j.f. Wall. However, in most situations I traditionally introduced myself as "Josh Wall" and secretly took pleasure in having a name that was almost impossible to screw up. However, Megan, who began grad. school before we were married, used Feenstra as a middle name in more informal circles (i.e. church) but professionally has gone by Feenstra Wall. There has never been any issue for us in this; we were both happy with the solution and all was good.
Upon coming to Durham, however, I decided that I would join Megan and use Feenstra as part of a last name in more formal circles (e.g. school), rather than a middle because it seemed to be inequitable if she used it one way and I another. What's the point of having it if it isn't used after all? If we had wanted separate names, I would have just stayed with Wall and she with Feenstra, so all of my paperwork here has me as Feenstra Wall (occasionally they even use a hyphen... which is becoming a pet peeve). It's not that these situations themselves are novel but just that most people sort out good ways to introduce themselves when they are five... not 27. So the situations I'm encountering, of having to laboriously spell my name so they will get it right, really are those of a first grader, despite their newness to me.
Most people I meet here have a hard time getting Feenstra Wall right, and I normally get this befuddled look of "What the heck kind of name is that?" It is even more amusing to watch someone try and write it, which invariably ends up with them handing me the form to fill out. I don't mind this, and I know that many people always have their names misspelled or are asked to repeat them several times upon introduction, but like I said, this is all new to me. I went from one of the easiest names in the English language to a combination name of Dutch and English which seems to leave my professors standing there confused.
Despite the frustrations, I do like Feenstra Wall. I like how our surname represents what marriage is. I like that it more accurately shows how two people come together, still holds both of our "former" identities, and gives us some naming flexibility. If we want to be simple or if the situation is informal, then Wall saves space and hassle. If we feel like spitting out the entire thing, then the option is there. But this whole not-getting-my-name-right-thing is brand new to me, and I find it funny.
P.S. I also haven't found many people here who hyphenate or combine their names, which only adds to the inherent confusion. I'm not sure if that is because of English custom or just a local trend.
P.P.S. I also have met a PhD student with a name that sounds like Bendoritis, so I know there are more odd names out there!
Read the rest...
The first week of my classes has come and gone, and I've gotten to introduce myself to other students, faculty, and staff members here, and I keep being surprised by the number of people who stumble over my name. Now, this is a rather new development for me because even though Meg and I have been married over four years and I've had Feenstra in my name that whole time, it normally worked as a "second middle" name rather than a last name (or surname as it tends to be called here). During that same time, I signed everything Joshua j.f. Wall. However, in most situations I traditionally introduced myself as "Josh Wall" and secretly took pleasure in having a name that was almost impossible to screw up. However, Megan, who began grad. school before we were married, used Feenstra as a middle name in more informal circles (i.e. church) but professionally has gone by Feenstra Wall. There has never been any issue for us in this; we were both happy with the solution and all was good.
Upon coming to Durham, however, I decided that I would join Megan and use Feenstra as part of a last name in more formal circles (e.g. school), rather than a middle because it seemed to be inequitable if she used it one way and I another. What's the point of having it if it isn't used after all? If we had wanted separate names, I would have just stayed with Wall and she with Feenstra, so all of my paperwork here has me as Feenstra Wall (occasionally they even use a hyphen... which is becoming a pet peeve). It's not that these situations themselves are novel but just that most people sort out good ways to introduce themselves when they are five... not 27. So the situations I'm encountering, of having to laboriously spell my name so they will get it right, really are those of a first grader, despite their newness to me.
Most people I meet here have a hard time getting Feenstra Wall right, and I normally get this befuddled look of "What the heck kind of name is that?" It is even more amusing to watch someone try and write it, which invariably ends up with them handing me the form to fill out. I don't mind this, and I know that many people always have their names misspelled or are asked to repeat them several times upon introduction, but like I said, this is all new to me. I went from one of the easiest names in the English language to a combination name of Dutch and English which seems to leave my professors standing there confused.
Despite the frustrations, I do like Feenstra Wall. I like how our surname represents what marriage is. I like that it more accurately shows how two people come together, still holds both of our "former" identities, and gives us some naming flexibility. If we want to be simple or if the situation is informal, then Wall saves space and hassle. If we feel like spitting out the entire thing, then the option is there. But this whole not-getting-my-name-right-thing is brand new to me, and I find it funny.
P.S. I also haven't found many people here who hyphenate or combine their names, which only adds to the inherent confusion. I'm not sure if that is because of English custom or just a local trend.
P.P.S. I also have met a PhD student with a name that sounds like Bendoritis, so I know there are more odd names out there!
10 comments:
I remember you telling us about your name dilemmas before... I can see that it is troubling for you :-)
I don't think your situation is unique over here although I can sympathise - McNeely is hard enough to get people to spell correctly! My recently-married sister has taken her husband's surname. It's "Riscombe-Burton" so she knows how you feel... although it would have been much worse if she had added her maiden name as well!
Josh, I know how you feel about getting your name mispelled. I thought Queenie is not such an unusual name until I come here. People either spell that as Quennie or Queeny etc...I can name a dozen. Or you will see people's look on their faces when you tell them your name is "Queenie" keke.. :) But then again, I like my name alot, so I don't care. haha
I loved your name when we gave it to you but I love it even more with Feenstra included. I think that it runs together very smoothly. It would sound so strange without it now. Love, forever and always, Mom
As someone who has been dealing with Feenstra her whole life I have sympathy for at least part of your dilemma. You'd probably have half the difficulties if it was Smith Wall rather than Feenstra Wall.
Feenstra does not come over the phone well (I've been a Seenstra, Veenstra, and Leenstra), no one knows how to spell it (two es? all those consants all at once?). It's worse when someone sees the names and attempts to say it (Fenestra, Fenstra, Fentra). Phonetics people!
Here's my usual approach: Feenstra, that's F like Feet (or Florida, but that won't work in England as well), e e (slowly!) n s t r a (even more slowly). Then I repeat it. Good luck Josh!
Hi, Josh. I have an explanation why they might want to hyphonate the names. We do that sometimes here so that we know where to find a file when we want it - in the 'f's or 'w's. If the name is hyphonated we know to go to the 'f' file. Anyway, that's why we hyphonate names - so we don't loose people.
Aunt Mary
At least you have Feenstra Wall, can you imagine what problems Feenstra Wiersma would cause. I've had to spell my last name my whole life, even in Dutch-ville.
Matt
"Feenstra Wiersma" I think that's a step towards the super dutch name Megan mentioned in another post...
I think the husband should take his wife's first name as his last name, and then turn around and run into a brick wall.
By the way I got a compliment on my last name today. One of my professors upon seeing my name written told me (in a rather delighted Enlgish manner) , "That's quite the surname you've got there Joshua. I have to say I rather like it, quite unique and it just rolls of the tongue doesn't it?"
And after he runs into the brick wall he should get up and do it again.
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