Strongly Bitter like English Noble People

So when we were home for Christmas I was rummaging though the backpack I took to Asia when I ran across something that we thought was funny at the time and still feels funny six months later. Scrawled on the classified section of the Myanmar Times are the coffee descriptions from Black Canyon Coffee (the only chain restaurant we found in Myanmar). I can still vividly remember sitting in an air conditioned coffee shop on plush chairs and drinking coffee drinks that cost more that I paid for all of my food from the day before. But it was a humid and incredibly sticky day, so it was a great luxury to spend three hours sitting in Black Canyon laughing at the descriptions and milking our drinks for all they were worth. With that as background, enjoy.

Black Canyon Iced Coffee:
Milk mixed with that old "Black Devil" poured into glasses... This is a two-straw drink, something to be shared with your sweet heart or with your favorite group of yuppies.

Mexican Iced Coffee:
Nutty soft taste, moisten, refresh, return to flourishing passing from cool ice, Kahlua liqueur inside, cowboy have energy, surface with mild. An excellent after-dinner habit is to take Mexican iced coffee with a liqueur but also equally good at other times of the day to aid digestion.

Black Canyon Coffee:
Black like a devil... fully concentrated, ardent like "Black Canyon" type, talking in Latin after a sip.

Hot Espresso Coffee with Honey:
The coffee of nobility, special formula for good people, strongly bitter like English noble people but sweet like "honey" a little bit like charming Thai ladies from Northern Thailand."

Ice Cream:
Improved, cheaper refrigeration techniques in the16th century brought ice cream to the masses, probably the most important point on the timeline of history until the discover of antibiotics 400 years later.

P.S. Black Canyon has a website if you want to find some more fun descriptions of their drinks.