New Name, New Challenges (well new for me)

"Hello, let me introduce myself. My name is Joshua Feenstra Wall... no that's F-E-E-N-S-T-R-A. No, not fenestra. No there is not a hyphen. And then Wall, yup, like four walls in a room. Pared in Spanish... (sigh) Would you just like me to write it?"
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The first week of my classes has come and gone, and I've gotten to introduce myself to other students, faculty, and staff members here, and I keep being surprised by the number of people who stumble over my name. Now, this is a rather new development for me because even though Meg and I have been married over four years and I've had Feenstra in my name that whole time, it normally worked as a "second middle" name rather than a last name (or surname as it tends to be called here). During that same time, I signed everything Joshua j.f. Wall. However, in most situations I traditionally introduced myself as "Josh Wall" and secretly took pleasure in having a name that was almost impossible to screw up. However, Megan, who began grad. school before we were married, used Feenstra as a middle name in more informal circles (i.e. church) but professionally has gone by Feenstra Wall. There has never been any issue for us in this; we were both happy with the solution and all was good.

Upon coming to Durham, however, I decided that I would join Megan and use Feenstra as part of a last name in more formal circles (e.g. school), rather than a middle because it seemed to be inequitable if she used it one way and I another. What's the point of having it if it isn't used after all? If we had wanted separate names, I would have just stayed with Wall and she with Feenstra, so all of my paperwork here has me as Feenstra Wall (occasionally they even use a hyphen... which is becoming a pet peeve). It's not that these situations themselves are novel but just that most people sort out good ways to introduce themselves when they are five... not 27. So the situations I'm encountering, of having to laboriously spell my name so they will get it right, really are those of a first grader, despite their newness to me.

Most people I meet here have a hard time getting Feenstra Wall right, and I normally get this befuddled look of "What the heck kind of name is that?" It is even more amusing to watch someone try and write it, which invariably ends up with them handing me the form to fill out. I don't mind this, and I know that many people always have their names misspelled or are asked to repeat them several times upon introduction, but like I said, this is all new to me. I went from one of the easiest names in the English language to a combination name of Dutch and English which seems to leave my professors standing there confused.

Despite the frustrations, I do like Feenstra Wall. I like how our surname represents what marriage is. I like that it more accurately shows how two people come together, still holds both of our "former" identities, and gives us some naming flexibility. If we want to be simple or if the situation is informal, then Wall saves space and hassle. If we feel like spitting out the entire thing, then the option is there. But this whole not-getting-my-name-right-thing is brand new to me, and I find it funny.



P.S. I also haven't found many people here who hyphenate or combine their names, which only adds to the inherent confusion. I'm not sure if that is because of English custom or just a local trend.

P.P.S. I also have met a PhD student with a name that sounds like Bendoritis, so I know there are more odd names out there!

Josh and the Big Wall

Josh and I have a tradition in which we head off into the countryside to an undisclosed location (for Josh) on the Saturday closest to the 20th of October (that would be his birthday). In New York, this meant long train rides to good hiking spots or borrowed cars and kayaks. Here, it meant a visit to a very helpful Jennie at the Durham Tourist Information Center. Along with sending me off with another dozen or so fancy brochures (tourism must generate a lot of income around here), she helped me decide on a visit to Hadrian's Wall. It somehow seemed appropriate that we would visit the Wall for JoshWall's birthday. Plus, in NYC we never got to visit any 2nd century ruins!

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Hadrian's Wall is an 8 foot wide, second century Roman wall that lies in ruins not too far from Durham. Its construction was spearheaded by, you guessed it, Emperor Hadrian in AD 122. During his reign, Hadrian decided to consolidate his massive empire and fortify the edges a bit. So, choosing the narrowest part of England, he ordered the construction of this 73.5 mile wall to help keep out those barbaric Scots of the North. Milecastles (the brochure calls them "fortlets") and other major fortifications lie in ruins along the length of the wall, as well. Of course, "England" and "Scotland" didn't exactly exist just yet and there's a lot more interesting historical information, but you can read more about that at Wikipedia; no need for me to get into too much detail.

We took a train North about 15 minutes to Newcastle, the closest "big" city to Durham. From there, we caught the handy Hadrian's Wall bus which runs during tourist season (i.e. until next week). Not only did we get a nice ride directly along the ancient wall's route, but we also got a friendly, in-bus tour guide. What service.
We went about an hour out to the central and most scenic part of the wall. Starting at Steel Rigg, we walked back East a few hours to Housesteads Fort. The views were fantastic, and we couldn't have asked for a better day. Who says England isn't sunny?
The wall goes through some beautiful countryside, and we had a chance to befriend some shy English sheep and cows. Lunch was our long-time staple... peanut butter and jelly! We also visited one apparently famous spot along the wall. That first photo of Josh shows Sycamore Gap which makes an appearance in the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Eventually, we caught the bus back to the lovely city of Hexham, where we wandered through the abbey and bought an excessive amount of fudge (it never hurts to mention it's your husband's birthday). But before we could head back to Newcastle, we had one last stop. A photo and a pint in the village of... WALL!

A note on cleanliness

Written 28 Sept 2007, USA (although it's still true...)

I don't feel as dirty as I used to. For that matter, I don't feel like showering, either, even though I haven't yet today. Let me explain.

In a conversation with an American friend a few weeks ago, it was assumed that we hadn't been able to shower much on our trip with all the traveling and moving around and possibly awkward or dirty showers. In fact, other than a few odd days with overnight trains or buses, the opposite was true. With such a hot and sticky climate, we were showering constantly.

So why don't I feel like showering now?
For example, in Angkor Wat, our first real stop in SE Asia, we would shower first thing in the morning. We rarely sprung for air conditioning, so a quick rinse was necessary to wash off the stickiness of the hot night. We'd then go out for the day, returning around 3-5pm. This would be later if we were on our own, but at Angkor you rent a tuk-tuk and driver for the day, which ends around late afternoon. Again, we'd rinse off the day's grime. Of course, by bedtime we were feeling sticky again and, rather than lay down sweaty, we'd take one more shower! It now sounds like a terrible waste of water, but they tended to be short showers. I'd say the three still used about the same amount of one of my American showers. Plus the water was usually cold, so hanging around too long just wasn't appealing.

I think part of my friend's assumption might also be attributed to our American ideas about other countries' hygienic standards. We tend to have the reputation of being clean-fanatics, while some other cultures, well, just don't. I wasn't sure what to expect from SE Asia, although I did suspect Indian subways (if they existed) might smell a bit like the Russian ones I'd experienced (distinctly "manly"). In some guidebook, I had read that the Thai people actually tend to shower a lot more than Americans do. Once I'd visited Thailand, this made sense. It explained why, despite the climate, they always looked disgustingly sweat-less and comfortable while we were often shiny, sticky, and pink. They also use a fantastic invention called Prickly Heat powder. I suppose any powder will do, but this seemed to be the favorite. If you are ever heading for a hot and humid climate, pick yourself up a tin. I don't suppose it helps in the long run, but a sprinkle of that stuff really helps you feel soft and dry, if only for the next 15 minutes!

All that to say, we feel so clean now that we're back in a temperate climate! Despite having grown up in a one-shower-a-day culture my whole life, it feels strange to hop under the water when I just took a shower yesterday. I haven't really gotten that dirty, have I? And we shower because we're dirty, right? For the last few months, we've been showering in order to rinse away a decent amount of sweat and grime. Here not a whole lot accumulates in one day, so if I took a shower yesterday, I still feel awfully clean today.

I thought this was just a personal phenomenon until I mentioned it to Josh. Apparently, we are both a little newly shower-shy!

The View from our Bedroom Window, Part 2

(Part 1)

On relationships (and long-term traveling)

Written in Jodphur, India on 21 August 2007

Trains have renewed my wonder at couples. While not overly romantic, I’ve always been slightly enthralled with the idea that our entire world tends to divide up into units of two. On the last few trains, we’ve encountered these couples who are travelling together for just a few weeks. This is Vacation for them and perhaps a chance to see more of each other than they do during Non-vacation time. It’s the little things I notice: a playful pat on the butt, a hand through the hair, that remind me that couples in love tend to touch each other, and I think I notice them now because, well, I've neither seen nor experienced them much in the last four months!

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Josh and I do not touch each other as much as these European holiday-ers. It’s not that we didn’t used to pre-trip; I think we had our fair share of couple-y-ness. But we joke now about our temporary hiatus from the small touches of lovers, while acknowledging two significant and justifiable reasons.

First, we are now in semi-modest India, but we spent the first four months of our trip in cultures that discourage displays of public affection. Two male friends may hold hands, but couples do not. We just didn't see a whole lot of public affection between men and women at all. We certainly weren’t required to forgo the hand on the small of a back or the quick kiss ourselves, but just as we chose not to wear tank tops and short shorts, so we chose not to offend in our relationship. Simply admitting we were indeed married was enough to gain significant respect in nearly every culture we encountered, and I think we just fell out of the habit of touching.

The second reason is climate, plain and simple. I would so rather cuddle before a cozy fire in a cold winter room than snuggle in a sticky, airless Cambodian guest house or put my hand on the back of a lover only to find significant dampness. It just isn’t appealing!

So the Spaniard and French couples that surround me on these August Indian trains have renewed my hope. We will be back in a cold climate again soon, where we eagerly look forward to the joy of touch.

While perhaps a bit detrimental to our relationship, I don’t see the lack of touch as anything permanent. We have, however, learned a lot about each other, ourselves, and ourselves as a couple during this time of travel. It would be impossible to claim otherwise after spending so much time with one person, together experiencing new things, stressful situations, scary moments, incredible beauty, unfamiliar cultures…

Now, Josh has a better idea of just how many little disasters add up to tears for me, and I know roughly how many overcharging tuk-tuk drivers or pushy touts it takes for Josh’s responses to turn sour. We know how to detect irritability resulting from lack of food, drink, or sleep and how to gently suggest stopping for a bite without offending. We’ve learned that joint navigation is not a strong point, perhaps because we both do well on our own and can’t seem to negotiate the two strengths into one. Wandering together is fun and fine, but getting somewhere tricky can cause frustration.

But we also know how well we can work together to bargain down a price or how painfully slow we can be at making decisions regarding which hotel room to take or whether to buy the camel or elephant key chains for my sister’s kids (wait that’s more me). We know how well we can plan and organize our days, even months, with very little disagreement, and we now know we need a detailed budget, not so that we keep to it, but so that we are aware how well we’re doing and can allow our cheap selves to splurge.

I am good at charming a new friend or government official, getting information, and planning a tricky sequence of train trips. Josh is good at striking a hard bargain, confronting in uncomfortable situations, and taking risks that allow us to find ourselves in more interesting locations or events. He is bold where I am not, and I am thorough where he is not. Now we can anticipate a potentially problematic situation (a border crossing, an overcharging taxi driver, a possible hotel discount) by deciding before hand who plays what role, letting the other person handle what they do best.

We’ve spent all of about eight hours apart in the last four months. Honestly, that’s a little absurd, difficult to comprehend, even! But it’s true, and, well, we still get along just fine, like each other, even. I suppose if being dirt poor as two grad students, facing a big city of strangers together, living in all of 300 sf for 3 years weren’t enough to pull us apart, spending 2872 consecutive hours with each other in mildly stressful situations wasn’t going to do it either.

Milk Bottles

Meg stumbled over some empty ones on the stoop while fumbling for her keys in the dark last night. Some people still do this?

I've always wanted to live in a named house...

Welcome to Dunelm Mount. (For those of you who were wondering about our choice, we went with the retired professor and the vicar.) We've spent the last few days moving suitcases, cleaning up, rearranging furniture, and spending our life savings in expensive English groceries. We also are sans Internet until the end of the month when DSL will be installed, so if we are slow on replying to things, blame the lengthy wait times for anything technology-related around here.


Dunelm Mount is a 19th century row house on the cleverly named Western Hill, a (steep) slope leading up to the west of the river and the cathedral/castle/city centre. At some point in its life, Dunelm Mount held a boys school, housing none other than the former oh-so-unpopular prime minister, Tony Blair. So really it's like saying we're living on the ranch in Texas where George learned to ride a horse. At least that’s what we figure.

See photos of the place...
(I've added too many photos to this post, and it's acting up. So... if the formatting makes it difficult to read, I apologize!)

One enters the house on the second floor. The four rooms on this floor are all library/parlor related and simply overflow with books (well, the whole house overflows with books). The first floor has the main kitchen, the ancient washer (no dryer), and an exit to the rear garden (yard), while the third floor has 4 large bedrooms.









We are on the fourth floor, the attic. A big staircase comes all the way up the center, dividing the floor in two halves.










On one side is our sitting room/study/dining room...










and the other is our bedroom. While our original university flat was lacking in furniture, this place overflows with it. We think they use the attic as a repository for old wardrobes, tables, dressers... Especially dressers; we have six.




The kitchen is a tiny closet off the stairway, as is the rather large bathroom.
























As for the professor and the vicar… well, the professor is a retired church historian professor from the university. He seems to know everything there is to know about local history, especially if it involves a religious institution, and we’ve been caught several times in a “one quick question” turned half hour conversation. This man’s wife is an Anglican vicar (minister) and has a large vicarage (parsonage) in her parish (district) in which she spends about half of her week. “The most over-housed couple in Durham Country,” the professor called them!

They decided to let out their top floor a few years ago when a theology student showed up from Germany with no housing and limited options. We decided to make the move last week from university housing because of the cheaper rent, the closer location, and, well, it’s just so English! It’s a little odd knowing they are below us, especially since the staircase has no door, but I think we’ll get used to it. The main challenge is the minimal heat… it may be a cold winter!

The weather...

In case you were curious about the weather here in Durham, here is the basic run down.
Please note the massive temperature change of about 20 degrees. I think this is by far more dramatic than where I grew up which looks like this (mind you the scale is the same):
Just thought I'd share.

Yup, this is still our blog.

It all started when I decided I wanted to get some kind of "posts by country" on the sidebar of our blog... and it turned into this! Ends up we had to update the blog if we wanted to make any easy changes and that meant we had to change the template. Since we were changing it anyway, we decided to go all out and find something new! We don't know if this blog will last beyond England, but it's here for now, so let us know if you have any suggestions.

You can now look into our old posts by location over on the sidebar. I'm working on getting the statistics up again, and I'm making sure that the links to the full posts from the shortened ones on the main page work out. Oh. And I'm looking for a job, too. Of course I'm not letting this distract me...

First day of school!

The trip in visual form

Again, if you're waiting for UK news, you'll have to bear with a few more summary-type Asia posts (we're fine, though, mom...). Personally, I think the best summary is a diagram (thank you, Columbia GSAPP)! The map above shows our route for the last 5 or so months and was made today. You can check out my hand-drawn maps by clicking on the link below. These lovely things were created en-route and take full advantage of the three different colored pens we brought with us. All the maps should zoom in a bit if you click on the images themselves.
See the rest of the maps.

Map 1: 5/4-5/16 Cambodia to Hue, Vietnam
Map 2: 5/15-6/14 Hue, Vietnam to Thai/Malay border
Map 2b: 5/19 the super treck in Sapa, Vietnam
Map 2c: 6/5 biking the ruins in Sukhothai, Thailand Map 3: 6/14-6/30 Malaysia and Singapore Map 4: 7/5-8/10 Yangon, Myanmar to Kathmandu, Nepal
Map 4b: 7/7-7/8 Biking the ruins in Bagan, Myanmar
Map 5: 8/10-9/10 India including Andaman Islands

A Tardy Sign Post

Singapore

The first one of these funny sign posts was posted months ago, while we were still in Thailand. This one is a bit late, but we do what we can. We did make it to the UK this week, but things are a bit unsettled as we might be moving flats this weekend. Thus, we've been holding off on writing about it all yet. Soon. We promise. (Besides, it's difficult to know when the Asia trip conclusions wrap up and the UK introductions start up... Too much moving around all at once!)

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These tend to be less about funny translations and more just funny signs... enjoy!

Singapore- they take their rules seriously
Singapore zoo- We were curious how that big elephant was going to fit down into the bottom of the hourglass. And think of the fights when they all make it to the bottom.
Singapore- Is the 20% off supposed to make the durian buffet dinner more appealing? Durian is just not something I'd base a meal around.
National Palace, Thailand
National Palace, Thailand

Bangkok Airport, Thailand- Perhaps not quite as funny, but the kings photo was everywhere!
rest stop in Myanmar during an overnight busride
Bagan, Myanmar- Clever advertising.
Myanmar- snow towels were wet clothes chilled in a freezer that you could buy to cool yourself off. Just thought it was a funny name!
Temple in Mandalay, Myanmar
Mingun, Myanmar- Because we always think of energy when we think of buffalos
Yangon, Myanmar: Mmmm. Real Pitza. (we failed to get photos of the golden arch of "McBurger" and the "Tokyo Fried Chicken" sign)
Dhaka, Bangladesh: the first hotel room we had that showed us the way to Mecca
Border crossing into Nepal from India
Kathmandu, Nepal- no one we'd met had ever heard of Michigan...Delhi, India- train station women only line
Chandigarh, India
Chandigarh, India
Chandigarh, India
Ajanta Caves, India- because we saw so many men and women who looked like this in IndiaBangalore, India- ???Bangalore, India- the state capitol building... now zoom in on the center......and this is what's over the door! Jaisalmer, India- Child beer was for sale all over the place. Say if phonetically and it makes more sense!Chennai, India- who cares what exactly is in the sandwich... just as long as it's non-veg!Ferry in Andaman Islands, India- this sign was posted on the official notice board for the ferry company.Tokyo airport, Japan- I'd heard about these things to help pee-shy Japanese women along, but here it was in person... you could even change the volume of the flushing sound that would hide the sound of your own, well, you know...